### An 11-Step Program

# STEP TWO: How To Drink Beer And Keep Your Job

## Here is a list of supplies you will need:

### BreathSavers (TM) brand mint

peppermint only (blue pack) This is important. There really is not a better mint.

### Generic Aspirin

$1.59 avg. price -- 3 tablets before bed

### Orange Soda

### Meister Bräu

just 50 cents a can

Don't drink more than six beers on a "school night." Remember, you need this job to buy beer. If six is too much or too little for you, one beer under your average tolerance will suffice. If you don't know your tolerance level, figure it out. Here's a simple formula to help you:

### 1.

Attempt to count the number of drinks that you consume on any given weekend day for three consecutive weekends.

### 2.

Total the sum of the numbers you remembered and divide by 3.

### 3.

Multiply that by the diameter of your television set times 1.15 and subtract the difference between that number and the number of times you go to the bathroom after two beers if that number is prime, or that number and the sum total of sexual partners you've had minus two, if that number (the diameter of your television set times 1.15) is a whole number.

## THE SCIENCE OF PARYTING

### next in the series

### STEP THREE: